^the Corsairs

e-mail   Captain.Morgan@Corsairs.com

            Alexander Jacob Morgan was born into wealth in 1499, a child of privilege in Canterbury, where his parents, Jacob and Rebecca Morgan were the Lord and Lady Banks of the city.  Even as a young child, Morgan showed a penchant for counting coins and balancing figures, a money-grubbing bastard. Being landowners and part the gentry of the city, the Morgans were contemporaries of the Archbishop of Canterbury.  Uncle Archie tried to instill a sense of spirituality into the young Alex Morgan, but more often than not, Alexander would bite him on the ankles and escape the church through the alms slot in the cathedral door.

            As a young teenager, Morgan found his voice.  Often he would break out in loud, lewd and boisterous song, while small dogs on the other side of the shire…oh, screw it.

           Alexander’s mother, the Lady Banks, had a brother, Thomas Peters, who liked the black sheep…I mean, he was the black sheep of the family.  Thomas died in the fire at the Old Dun Cow.  The fire was started under very mysterious circumstances, but Will Teach denies he knows anything about it.  (He vehemently swears that he was sitting in a fine London tavern drinking the best ale money could buy, but everybody saw the Rosabella parked right there next to the Old Dun Cow).

            Upon Peters’ death, his ship, the Priscilla, was bequeathed to Alexander, since Peters died with no children and Alex was his oldest nephew.  The Priscilla was in such a state of disrepair, it made the Antelope look like the Irish Rover.  Morgan outfitted her with every latest amenity.  She became the first ship with health spa, salon and a galley complete with crepe pans and espresso machine.  Morgan also changed her name to the more butch-sounding “Iron Maiden” and set out to sail the seven big, blue, wet things.

            The Silk Road had recently opened to Morgan and his crew headed to Asia.  The Iron Maiden quickly began to make a name for herself as being a prolific trader in silks, linens, chiffons, taffetas, chianas and many other fabulous fabrics.  

            In 1526, when the Silk Road became déclassé and so 1525, the crew of the Iron Maiden decided to look for fun in the sun, while considering their next voyage.  They heard of a group of islands that sounded full of promise.  Imagine the crew’s surprise and embarrassment once they learned the term “man-eater” actually meant “cannibal”.  After several awkward and uncomfortable minutes, Morgan offered his chef’s scrumptious meat-free recipes to the cannibals.  (Couldn’t their women cover those things up?). 

            After having tea with the king and being stripped of all their valuables (rum and clothing), Morgan and his crew sailed to Auckland in the buff, which was 10,000 miles away receiving the nastiest of sun burns along the way.

            On a voyage to Sweden to trade their gold for ABBA recordings, Morgan gave passage to Will Teach to Norway.  During this sojourn, Will’s wife and son died in a tragic fire, eerily, reminiscent of the Old Dun Cow.  This time, however, thanks to Morgan and his crew, Will and his gargantuan appendage had rock solid alibis.  The encounter with the 2 meter, 19-stone quartermaster gave Morgan and his crew the idea to go on account.  The letter of marque from King Henry VIII and Queen Anne Boleyn also affected this decision.  This venture turned out to me more lucrative than the Silk Road, as they took, in rapid succession, the sloop John B near Kokomo, the Morning Glory near the Holy Ground, and the Royal Oak along the coast of High Barbary.

            Then, during a brief furlough in the port of Scarborough, the Iron Maiden mysteriously, ominously, inexplicably and “accidentally” went down in flames, while Morgan was enjoying an ale at the Cross Keys Inn.  Subterfuge has always been suspected in the Maiden’s untimely demise, but an eyewitness, Robert “Boats” Blackmoor was sitting under a palm tree making bowls out of palm fronds and claimed that no one went near the ship prior to the “accident.”

            With the loss of the Maiden, Morgan disbanded his crew and now spends his days, singing piratical songs and nautical ditties with the crew of the Six O’ One.